Sensible decision. Vlad the lad holds all the cards.
You are to take up a new role in the Kremlin as ‘Shagging & Coolness Adviser’, helping Putin achieve even greater popularity by dressing like a rock star, making love to many sexy ladies, and becoming a top stand up comedian who hangs out with Noel off of Oasis.
Before you can take up your position, you must be inducted into the Illuminati, the secret society that controls the world.
You are taken to a chamber deep underground for the initiation ceremony.
Holding the sacred pendant of enlightenment, you recite an ancient spell.